MOVIE: A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy (1982)
- A lot of things have happened in my private life recently that I thought we could review tonight.
- I feel sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
- A fast word about oral contraception. I was involved in an extremely good example of oral contraception two weeks ago. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said "no."
- Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.
- I was in analysis. I was suicidal. As a matter of fact, I would have killed myself, but I was in analysis with a strict Freudian and if you kill yourself they make you pay for the sessions you miss.
- I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
- I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
- I'm not a drinker — my body will not tolerate spirits. I had two Martinis on New Year's Eve and I tried to hijack an elevator and fly it to Cuba.
- When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
From Standup Comic


